Monday, August 16, 2010

"Aisha" is a stinking fart

So I saw this movie, 2 weeks back. The promos appeared fun and juvenile; and in spite of the movie being marketed as a chick flick, I decided to go – all by myself. I do that, quite often after work. One reason being, by 2300 hours, there's lesser traffic on the road. Second there's nobody to disturb me when I am watching a movie and I can give it my focused undivided attention. Some of us call it "my time." So "Aisha" was one such that I decided to do alone. And like I said, the promos appeared fun; trust me that is all the fun you are going to have. The rest of the movie, Aisha plainly farts leaving behind a stink and a bad headache.

Sonam Kapoor, the girl has beautiful hair and a beautiful smile. But is that everything she is capable of as an actress? This was the second time I was watching her after IHLS; and I was already bored.

Now the director who brought this disaster to life – I don't even know her name, but it's a total work of shame. Here is some of the delusional portrayal of characters.

Pinky – Aisha's best friend who is not interested in boys – neither in girls – but somehow feels that she is going to end up alone. Later during the movie, she also suffers from a beauty-inferiority complex while the first half has shown her as strong, bubbly, and outgoing. People change, but it kind-of takes years and not hours. And this movie was only about the hours.

The hot-short-cropped-hair-boy who doesn't mind sharing Aisha with Abhay Deol ends up marrying another chick from New York – straight out of one lip lock in a restaurant cafĂ© .The audience is expected to assume that the lip lock was so sensational that it finds a way to convert itself into marriage. Or for that matter, the audience is left to assume whatever they want to – maybe the sex is great, maybe she has a lot of money, or pregnant out of the kiss, or maybe they were soul mates destined to be together. I presume the audience just didn't know what was going on or what to assume.

And did I mention, this New York chick is Abhay's *something*. No no, not sister, not girlfriend but they hang out throughout the entire first half of the movie. She is the chick that Aisha is kinda jealous of – the only reason being she hangs out with Abhay Deol way too much. I have no idea of her relationship with Abhay in the movie. They are plain friend * if with benefits * the director just refused to communicate that. She was more focused on some lame dialogues delivered by Aisha on the "incomprehensible coupling."

Apparently everybody is falling in love with everybody – oh and as easy as it is to fall in love; it is with that much ease that each one can get out of it – without logic or reason. I mean it.

The movie is about Aisha, who keeps herself on the pedestal and tries to benefit the life of other damsels who she considers lesser mortals. There's also the cheesy drama of friendship falling apart and friends uniting. And guess what happens in the end? Aisha ends up with Abhay, who she knows since childhood. When they proclaim their love for each other they narrate instances of their childhood life & the audience is caught by yet another surprise. The audience does not get to enjoy any directorial glory of the childhood bonding or love affair. Even worse, is sitting through the lame 2 hours. For Abhay Deol hardcore fans, the actor is predominantly wasted in the movie.

May be for the first time, if I am not wrong, there was the pretty woman label collections of Dior and so forth introduced in a bollywood film. But if we have started living in an already globalized world, you are better off buying a "Devil wears PRADA" DVD and watching it over and over rather that see this nightmare in the theatres.

When the movie got over – I asked myself – what the f*** was this? I then told myself, Aisha farted and left behind an ugly stink.